Hello there poppets! / L Plate Mama

Last night the other half and I watched the hyper-violent movie, Kate, with the bloody action taking place in Tokyo. Somewhere deep inside me the longing to be somewhere completely different came alive. It had been lost, first of all in the quicksand of depression and anxiety, and then to my go-to pandemic survival mechanism of not thinking about the future.  As the movie crashed through outdoor markets and traditional Japanese homesteads I longed to take my two kiddos there,  and watch their eyes widen with utter differentness of it all.  Today here in Victoria,  Australia  our premier announced our roadmap out of lockdown.  It looks like that we will not have significant easing of restrictions for over a month.  This is lockdown no.6, and I haven't bothered keeping count of the number of weeks we've been only able to leave our house for five essential reasons. I am actually completely fine with the restrictions. I absolutely prefer them to hundreds o...

I think I'm quite a cheerful person. I can see the good in people, and I can bounce back from things. I am able to take great joy from small things, and have been known to do a little dance of happiness when going to eat laksa! Normally.  Over the last year, my normal changed. While I've always had depression, it came in waves. Last year, along with much of the world, the pandemic did no favours for my mental health. There were no waves, I was sinking below the surface.  It was like walking through treacle, in a world stripped of colour. Everything was an effort. And then it was as if I'd had ten espressos, there was a steam train in my chest with my brain screaming that something terrible was imminent.  For a month or so I would sit on the couch at the end of day, and my hands would shake and I couldn't stop it.  I cried. A lot. And nothing that I used to do when I was low worked.  I walked.  I talked.  I saw my psychologist. I went to bed really...