No, it's not all going to be ok. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to greedy awful selfish people. There is darkness and there is loneliness, there is guilt and fear. There's the feeling of deep dread when everything is going well; the paperthin impermanence of the present. The blink and then it's gone moments of bliss, happiness, perfection.
But what good does it do to hold on to the dark. It's not a talisman that will ward off the awfulness. It doesn't stop the lowness, the bleakness, the dread. It shuts out the light. The small incremental moments of contentment. The light through the trees, the crunch underfoot, the spring sun on your skin, the giggle of joy that escapes from a loved one, the taste of fresh strong coffee, the feeling of clean sheets on bare skin. The thousand acts of kindness, grace, fun and goodness carried out by all the complicated humans around you. And dogs; the innate goodness of canines goes a long way. Build these up, store them, collate and collect the tiny fractured good bits of the everyday. Build a fortress around you.
You can go to the dark, sometimes you must. It's the right place to be; heartache, loss, injustice take you there. Sometimes your hormones and the very structure and wiring of your brain lead you, force you back to the bland, the numb and the bleak. As someone far cleverer than me said visit, but don't make your home there.
Come back to your fortress. Keep coming back.
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